![]() |
| Bad Bunny headlines the halftime show at this year's Super Bowl February 8. PHOTO:NPR |
We catch the action at the beginning of the second quarter. Score is 225 Mags, 0 Libs. Quarterback Donny "Doo Doo" Drump and his Mags have held possession of the ball since the opening kick-off, working his throwing arm harder than a jackhammer on concrete. Signing one executive order after another, surpassing the 220 he completed his entire first 4-year season.
The Mag team has basically stood around and watched, essentially giving Donny free rein. Some say his dirty looks and threats have frozen the team's ability to pass bills into scoring laws.
We move to the press box.
"We've never seen a quarterback control every element of the game before, Tom. What's your analysis? We're starting the second quarter and the Libs haven't touched the ball."
"That's right, Joe. Donny has been on a tear and nobody seems to be able to stop him. The game did get a little rowdy early this quarter when Mag players took over Minneapolis with the Libs calling foul, only to have their fans hauled away and two of them... well, even knocked out cold, like dead."
"Donny plays a mean game, Joe. Just when you hear him say he's going to change his strategy, he pulls the same play again. There once was a quarterback in this league, Tricky Dick Nix'em, who pulled some stunt plays. But Donny makes Dicky's tricks look like kindergarten stuff -- sneaking into a hotel to steal plays. Big whoop."
(Laughter in the press box)
"The game's become a lot wilder, Joe. Sometimes I feel threatened myself just making comments. I'm glad I'm making the big bucks."
"I wouldn't do this if I wasn't getting paid five-times my old salary. We're not on the air are we?"
"No, Tom. I made sure to flip the switch below the monitor after that last time out. The last thing I want is to lose my job for something I said."
"Okay, it's Joe Bonk and my pal, Tom Badey, back with the action at Super Bull 2.0 here in Santa Clara, home of the San Francisco Forty-Niners. Funny how some teams keep their location name even after they change their home location."
"That's a hoot, isn't it?"
"Okay, Donny's over the center calling signals... No, was a minute! He's calling out players on the Libs team, actually yelling their names... err, that is, nicknames for them. Let's see if we can hear him."
(We hear Drump's voice on the stadium speakers -- "Fuck you, Newscum. I'm gonna make sure you never give another dyslexic speech, I'm gonna rip your tongue out. You're a dirty disgrace to this game."
(A cheer rises from the stadium but we can't make out what they're saying.)
"I've never heard that before, Tom, at least not over the stadium sound system. Drump seems to have the entire game wrapped around his middle finger."
"You know, Joe, I can say that for the first time I'm actually looking forward to the big halftime show this year headlined by Bad Bunny."
"Yeah, I agree, Tom. Even if we can't understand his Spanish. It will be good for a little change of pace. But I know Drump doesn't like him and may try something funny. Like having his Mag fans race onto the field and bust some heads."
"It really doesn't matter what they do, as long as they destroy the immigrant vibe, Drump will pardon them following the riot, I mean, game. Err, I didn't really mean 'riot' did I Joe? Did I say that? It's love. It's all about love..."
(The sounds from the fans become louder. They're chanting Bad Bunny, Bad Bunny, we love Bad Bunny... It becomes obvious that Bad Bunny has more fans here than the Mags or the Libs. The predominant vibe really is love. Fans are here to see Bad Bunny not Drump.)
Note: I have been publishing additional stories on Substack that do not appear on this blog. I invite you to join me on Substack by subscribing for free: https://kevinsamson731032.substack.com/. Thank you and good luck.





