Mourning in the USA

Smoky Sunrise

In order to digest this experience in a way that does not stick to us for a long time, there cannot be any sweeping of the muck under the rug of silver lining.  -- regarding loss of home

When I stepped outside our back door today, I was met with the stale smell of smoke. It was not in the air yesterday. The wind must have changed direction. Near the coast, the shifting of wind can happen in a heart beat. An offshore suddenly becomes onshore. If you consider the circumference of directions -- southwest to northwest, easterly to southeasterly to south southwest, and upper atmospheric northerly -- you can appreciate Mother Nature's fickleness, and our detailed human method for calculating and describing wind.

What we really want to do is control wind, as we try to control everything. The basic human trait and dilemma. Build a sea wall to prevent erosion only to watch it crumble over time as the softness of water  breaks down the hardness of rock.

When will we ever learn. The irony of our predicament is predictable.

We build houses in remote locations, even communities off the grid, so that we will not be subject to the vicissitudes of urban life. We want quiet. We want private. We want our freedom. Then lightening strikes. No rain. Just lightening. A fire sparks and spreads, jumps with burning embers. Soon those special hideaways that have become our homes are turned to ash. The only thing left standing, is a chimney.

More than 1,400 homes have been destroyed by the CZU Lightning Complex fire, as well as precious books, art, tools, photographs, pianos, studios and life-long family memorabilia and more. This occurred over the past two weeks. 

We know of three homes that no longer exist. One had been inhabited by a couple for at least 30 years. They had recently installed a new, expensive solar energy system. Another family had recently  re-modeled their kitchen with new appliances and hand-crafted counters and cabinets. The timing of the fire could not have been more disappointing. The third house was home to an elderly widow who lost her husband last year.

We also heard about a house that was purchased one month ago that is now gone. Welcome to the neighborhood.

The inhabitants were forced to evacuate, find shelter and consider their options. 

The CZU fires took one life.

All of this in the middle of a pandemic and a national election so full of hatefulness and frustration that you want to leave. Just go somewhere else. Where is that? Of my writer's group of six people, two have  talked about relocating to Ireland.

We are in the middle of construction at our home. We need to be here to answer questions and make on-the-spot decisions. Our detached cottage, built as a studio, needs various upgrades to be permitted for over-night stays. So we have issues of plumbing, electrical and physical construction that need to meet new codes. 

At the same time, a major construction project is taking place next door that is so hugely out-of-scale to our neighborhood that passersby stop to ask if a hotel is going in. The project was shut down for two weeks due to a positive COVID test of one of the workers. The design of an out-of-town developer-speculator, the project started in October. The fires shut things down for a few days. The noise and dust and pounding can be unnerving; the singing of the Mexican laborers uplifting.

Life goes on. Smoky air fills our lungs. The days and nights try our souls. More people are wearing masks. The city is closing its beaches for the upcoming Labor Day weekend during which a heat wave is forecast. Tensions are high across the land. I watch a lady festooned in American red-white-and-blue flag fabric explain that our President is doing what needs to be done to keep us safe. I see Black men being killed and shot by white police officers. I hear that more than 180,000 people have died from COVID as thousands of new cases are reported each day. I see young people in the streets protesting. I see vigilantes carrying guns being praised by our President. A 17-year-old who illegally purchased an assault weapon kills two people and we are told it was self-defense. White collar criminals who were convicted are being pardoned, their sentences commuted. We are told that one who pleaded guilty was not guilty because rules were broken to catch him. Our intelligence agencies tell us that Russia has interfered and is again interfering with our election. Our President says it's a hoax. He never says anything negative about Russia. He accuses China, Germany and the Democrats of being the source of our problems. He accuses his rival's son of corruption due to nepotism, while his children occupy un-elected, influential positions in our government. He holds a campaign for his re-election on the grounds of our White House, with more flags than can possibly wave at one time. Nobody is wearing masks or social distancing. He says he solved the pandemic, refers to it in the past tense. I hear the large lead that his rival once had in the polls is closing. He says mail-in voting is full of fraud, yet there is no evidence of this. There is evidence from family members that he is a sociopath.

It feels as though our government has been taken over by a coup d'etat . Our small beach town is at the mercy of outside money. So it goes.

I decide to not sweep the muck under the rug of silver lining in order to digest this experience, so that it does not stick to us for a long time.