The Super Bull

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

If only.

The upcoming Super Bowl set for Sin City on Sunday, Feb. 11 in which the San Francisco Forty-Niners will bash brains against the Kansas City Chiefs may linger like a hang-nail on your baby toe, or more likely a bad hangover in your frontal lobe.

The bruhaha so far forebodes lasting trouble.

We already know that the game has been fixed by super-liberal donor George Soros, the secret quarterback for the Chiefs. Word up, he will be sending signals to Chiefs' QB Patrick Mahomes by wireless AI vibrations, that will be shared by Taylor Swift in the luxury box from where she will have a view of the entire catalog of plays arranged by 49er coach Kyle Shanahan who is bonafide socialist directing a fake attack on the Chiefs.

Why?

Because Taylor endorsed Joe Biden in 2020.

Boyfriend of Taylor, Chiefs' tight-end Travis Kelce, and his brawny bearded brother What's-His-Name who looks like a Proud Boy, have fallen prey to the Deep State, like everybody else who is not registered with MAGA, an acronym for My Aching Giant Arsehole.

Their immunity from the Deep State has been traced to the only vaccine MAGA feels safe being poked by, a strain conceived in a basement laboratory 8 miles north of Boise, Idaho. Robert Kennedy, Jr. has been surveilled on the premises. He and wife, actress Cheryl Hines, will be joining the throngs of humanity attending the Super Bowl in Vegas. They will be incognito. Hint: keep your eyes peeled for a long straight blue and a curly red wig, waving through the crowd. (It turned out to be a surprise $7 million 30-second TV ad.)

Halftime headliner, vocalist Usher, may seem like an innocent pop singer, however, MAGA investigators have learned that his song list for the extravaganza show is coded with Deep State instructions to vote Democratic in the November elections. The set list will be subsequently used to nullify the National Election should Joe Biden or Pete Buddajudge win.

The San Francisco Forty-Niners are further under suspicion, based on the gay liberal reputation of their hometown and their former quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who disgraced America by starting a fad of kneeling during the National Anthem, a so-called peaceful expression of support for Black Lives Matter. 

If you want a piece-full-of demonstration, according to MAGA spokesperson Steve Bannon, storm the US Capitol with arms and bats and spears and make a little hay. 

Hey, I'm personally staying clear of this conspiratorial political posturing. Why can't we have a day of football between the two best teams? What's the problem with a slew of clever subliminal and subversive TV commercials designed to make you buy and ingest things you don't really need but feel cool about?

I'm just hoping for a close competitive game that will result in a win for the 49ers. I've got nothing against Taylor or Travis or Usher or Patrick Mahomes. Playing Super Bowl LVIII in Alligiant Stadium in Las Vegas in the year 2024 makes it more of a spectacle. 

Yuh Think!? 

Let's just KEEP IT THERE and forget all the extenuating bull.

Do you think Taylor wears too much lipstick?

Only 10 more days!

Post Game Note: the Chiefs won 25-22 in overtime. Travis went apeshit during game barking at and bullying his coach, after drinking a quart of spiked Gatorade. Taylor remains a figure of debasement for MAGA. Half of the 49er team were confused with overtime, believing it meant “game over.” An investigation is underway, or way under the craps table. Only in Vegas.