101 Reasons Not to Surf

When surf is not perfect, some stand on their heads

I hear that the beaches and surf breaks in California have been mobbed. The throngs are not locals who live and surf there, but people who have been cooped up and are now looking for exercise and fresh air. So, they figure, let's go to the beach!

On the news and social media, scenes of beach parties and boards bumping and flying in the water send shivers up and down my spine. Not to be indelicate, but these pictures appear to be cesspools for infection.

For most dedicated wave riders, this is one more reason not to go surfing: Too many kooks.

Pine Trees at Hanalei today

Enough of crowds and kooks. There are hundreds of reasons not to surf. Ask any surfer.

This morning I ran into Maureen, a dedicated surfer,  down at Pavilions, a surf break at Hanalei Bay.

"It's not as good as it was yesterday," she begins our conversation.

I nod. I jot down in my mind another reason not to surf today: It's not as good as yesterday.

We chat and survey the choppy water and close-out sets that confirm her assessment. Another wahine surfer who was out yesterday arrives and adds more testimony. She will not be surfing today.

There are a few others checking out the waves, who one-by-one eventually determine their reasons for not surfing today, and walk away.

Maureen, who runs on more energy than the Ever-Ready Bunny, decides she'll attend an outdoor exercise class at Anini.

I think of being back in Santa Cruz, doing a surf check with Tony, my surfer-neighbor.

After a period of insightful conversation, I say, "My shoulder has been bothering me."

He answers; "My foot is not completely healed."

There it is: another reason not to surf: I am nursing an injury.

Having decided that we're not going into the water, Tony and I will jokingly list to each other reasons not to surf today:

I have an appointment.

It's too windy.

The direction of the swell is wrong.

I should walk my dog.

I'm hungry.

I promised Barbara I would vacuum the rug.

There's a swell arriving tomorrow.

I need to repair a ding on my board.

Looks like a red ride.

I need more wax.

My good board is in the shop.

The excuses begin to pile into a mountain of woe, all carefully defined and thought through as a scientist might describe the results of a critical experiment.

The results do not prove the hypothesis: There are waves. You have a wetsuit and a board. Go surf.

There are those who would not miss a surf session for their life. We know who they are. We watch them with wonder and admiration. Through storms, injuries and crowds, if they can walk they can surf.

They are not the same as arrivals who don't know any better and will only add carnage and spread disease.

Very few are in the water today at Pavilions. Taking a cue from one gal who's playing in the shore surf, I dive into a wave. Frolic for a while. Shower off before before leaving.